Anyone who knows me well knows that I’m not much of a city person.
That’s actually an understatement. I hate crowds, and noise, and – well
– being touched by strangers, ever. I despise the unnecessary speed and
claustrophobia of it all. For these very reasons, I’m always skeptical of
Baltimore bars. And, for these reasons, I was pleasantly surprised by
Birroteca.
Nestled inconspicuously at the edge of Hampden, Birroteca boasts an impeccable beer selection, excellently crafted artisan pizza, and a subtle, earthy ambiance in a spacious 1883 structure.
A very large square bar – the only venue with full access to the happy hour specials – comfortably seats 40, with ample surrounding room for conversational hovering and idle milling. Our group of 10 easily found seats together upon our staggered
arrival from 5:00 pm til about 6:30 pm, and were able to maintain a
comfortable perimeter of privacy, even as the bar rapidly filled up before the close of happy hour at 7:00 pm.
Everything I ordered was divine. Arancini to start (which, I was pleased
to discover, features a combination of my favorite Italian starch – risotto,
combined with tallagio cheese and mushrooms, then slightly breaded –
PLUS my favorite cooking method – fried!);
prosciutto pizza topped with
an unexpected but absolutely lovely fennel salad; pancetta pizza, brimming
with every delicious manner of sinful protein; and, the show-stopper, a
duck confit pizza with fig onion jam, balsamic fontina, asiago, and…. DUCK
EGG. Phenomenal is an understatement.
While I had a gripe or two about the place, the overall experience was
pretty awesome. The part about not having to be shoved by drunken grad
students or subjected to a random “Ravens!” yell here and there even
though football season is obviously over, was, surprisingly, just a plus.
Review
Music:
I don’t remember there being any, which, in itself, says volumes
about the quality of it, I suppose. Twice, I put my ipod headphones on and
jammed, all by myself, to “all gold everything.” Additionally, there were
flat screens set to ESPN around the bar. I’m not a sports lover myself, but,
objectively speaking, they seemed to really clash with the laid-back vibe of
the place.
Seating:
The gigantic bar seats 40. There is table seating available on
the first and second floors; no access to happy hour specials from tables,
however. Ladies – there are no purse hooks under the bar.
Price:
$5 beers, $5 pinot glasses. No specials on food, but the food prices
weren’t so crazy. My arancini cost $7, and the pizzas range from $13 - $17.
Food:
Again, awesome. Avant garde executed really well. The duck
confit was probably the most adventurous choice, but I’m an adventurous
eater. It came topped with a duck egg, over medium, which caused me to
positively beam with joy but caused a co-happy-hourer to make a face like
he’d just been force-fed a raw onion. I say this to say, it’s not for everyone.
But, rest easy; they offer an Americano pizza – safe pepperoni – probably
specially designed for the more boring eaters among you.
Parking:
Huge parking lot behind the building and a reasonably sized one
in front of it. No problem at all finding a spot.
Crowd:
A little older, but I didn’t mind it. There was also a gender
consensus regarding a general absence of eye candy in the building. Again,
I didn’t mind it, but you might care to know that if bar chattiness is your
thing. In the words of another crew member "the bartenders are Hot!"
Overall:
9/10.
Minus one for the oddly placed flat screens, the absence of
purse hooks, and the forgettable music.
Tonight, join the HAPPY HOUR CREW at one of Habor Easts newest hotspots, OUZO BAY. 
