Anyone who knows me well knows that I’m not much of a city person.
That’s actually an understatement. I hate crowds, and noise, and – well
– being touched by strangers, ever. I despise the unnecessary speed and
claustrophobia of it all. For these very reasons, I’m always skeptical of
Baltimore bars. And, for these reasons, I was pleasantly surprised by
Birroteca.
Nestled inconspicuously at the edge of Hampden, Birroteca boasts an impeccable beer selection, excellently crafted artisan pizza, and a subtle, earthy ambiance in a spacious 1883 structure.
A very large square bar – the only venue with full access to the happy hour specials – comfortably seats 40, with ample surrounding room for conversational hovering and idle milling. Our group of 10 easily found seats together upon our staggered
arrival from 5:00 pm til about 6:30 pm, and were able to maintain a
comfortable perimeter of privacy, even as the bar rapidly filled up before the close of happy hour at 7:00 pm.
Everything I ordered was divine. Arancini to start (which, I was pleased
to discover, features a combination of my favorite Italian starch – risotto,
combined with tallagio cheese and mushrooms, then slightly breaded –
PLUS my favorite cooking method – fried!);
prosciutto pizza topped with
an unexpected but absolutely lovely fennel salad; pancetta pizza, brimming
with every delicious manner of sinful protein; and, the show-stopper, a
duck confit pizza with fig onion jam, balsamic fontina, asiago, and…. DUCK
EGG. Phenomenal is an understatement.
While I had a gripe or two about the place, the overall experience was
pretty awesome. The part about not having to be shoved by drunken grad
students or subjected to a random “Ravens!” yell here and there even
though football season is obviously over, was, surprisingly, just a plus.
Review
Music:
I don’t remember there being any, which, in itself, says volumes
about the quality of it, I suppose. Twice, I put my ipod headphones on and
jammed, all by myself, to “all gold everything.” Additionally, there were
flat screens set to ESPN around the bar. I’m not a sports lover myself, but,
objectively speaking, they seemed to really clash with the laid-back vibe of
the place.
Seating:
The gigantic bar seats 40. There is table seating available on
the first and second floors; no access to happy hour specials from tables,
however. Ladies – there are no purse hooks under the bar.
Price:
$5 beers, $5 pinot glasses. No specials on food, but the food prices
weren’t so crazy. My arancini cost $7, and the pizzas range from $13 - $17.
Food:
Again, awesome. Avant garde executed really well. The duck
confit was probably the most adventurous choice, but I’m an adventurous
eater. It came topped with a duck egg, over medium, which caused me to
positively beam with joy but caused a co-happy-hourer to make a face like
he’d just been force-fed a raw onion. I say this to say, it’s not for everyone.
But, rest easy; they offer an Americano pizza – safe pepperoni – probably
specially designed for the more boring eaters among you.
Parking:
Huge parking lot behind the building and a reasonably sized one
in front of it. No problem at all finding a spot.
Crowd:
A little older, but I didn’t mind it. There was also a gender
consensus regarding a general absence of eye candy in the building. Again,
I didn’t mind it, but you might care to know that if bar chattiness is your
thing. In the words of another crew member "the bartenders are Hot!"
Overall:
9/10.
Minus one for the oddly placed flat screens, the absence of
purse hooks, and the forgettable music.
Delicious food and amazing ambiance. 
